Having a baby entirely variations you, sometimes for the better & others for the worst, then i feel like I am a more intense person now.
I am way moodier than I used to be.
I guess it is stress, lack of sleep & added duties onto my plate, the anxiety I get when going to bed is just horrible. I guess it is because my baby is a bad sleeper. He sometimes wakes up crying & I know I will have 1.5 hours of intense screaming before he goes back down, however sporadically he just flat out refuses to sleep. I get entirely nervous that my nights are going to be bad… Due to my anxiety, I then don’t sleep & get even more anxious. It makes me not a fine partner, employee or person at the end of the afternoon. I have been looking into dosing with medical weed for the time being. I figure it can’t hurt! A little bit of THC & CBD should mellow me out. I am hoping if I am a bit high I can calm down & sleep. If I need to wake up & be up for 1.5 hours with a screaming baby, I want to be high for it. I guess being calmer will be better for my child too. I guess he feeds off my anxious, unhappy energy when he is screaming. It will also just be nicer being high sometimes to be honest. Thankfully I do live near a cannabis dispensary & they can hook me up with the right product.