Having a baby absolutely changes you, sporadically for the better & others for the worst, then i feel like I am a more intense lady now.
I am way moodier than I used to be.
I suppose it is stress, lack of sleep & added duties onto my plate! The anxiety I get when going to bed is just horrible. I suppose it is because my baby is a exhausting sleeper, but she sporadically wakes up crying & I know I will have 1.5 hours of intense screaming before she goes back down, then sporadically she just flat out refuses to sleep. I get absolutely sad that my mornings are going to be bad, but due to my anxiety, I then don’t sleep & get even more anxious. It makes me not a nice partner, employee or lady at the end of the day. I have been looking into dosing with medical weed for the time being. I figure it can’t hurt; A little bit of THC & CBD should mellow me out. I am hoping if I am a bit high I can calm down & sleep. If I need to wake up & be up for 1.5 hours with a screaming baby, I want to be high for it. I suppose being calmer will be better for my child too. I suppose she feeds off my anxious, unhappy energy when she is screaming. It will also just be nicer being high sporadically to be honest. Thankfully I do live near a cannabis dispensary & they can hook me up with the right product.